[ he's going to say something. he really is. he opens his mouth, but by the time the memory glass starts to fog and change - he closes it, because he realizes it's too late.
heaven is cruel, in many ways, that go against what its believers were brought to understand of it in their scriptures and hymns. zhongli has come to expect it, at this point. that it will find a way to twist in the knife when you should anticipate it, but still find yourself swept up, knocked down, struck breathless.
his free hand goes up to his own chest, where the bolt found itself buried in taair's. there is no bloomd of blood or relief, for him, not beyond what the memory instills. but it is the simultaneous kindness and cruelty of it all that reminds him of so many.
how many close companions, how many soldiers who fought alongside him, how many humans and adepti alike over the millennia, have died with a smile on their face? who left their dreams, their treasures, their hopes, the future of the world, behind for someone else? he remembers each and every one of them that have been placed into his hands for safekeeping, as he will remember this one.
it's no surprise that it's a constant across worlds.
it's no surprise, either, that the precious gift of life can so often still be its own cage when put into the wrong hands. ]
... I still stand by it. [ but he is the god of contracts. of history, of commerce, the warrior god morax. it isn't his nation, but it is a historian, ensnared by the trappings of war - and he knows an imbalanced, unfair, unjust situation when he sees one. ] Taair, my friend... where has anyone said that your road to redemption is because of the duty that this woman has forced upon you? What contract has forbidden you from using this opportunity to soar from the golden aviary that she has fashioned for you?
Has a single angel said that others cannot help you reach your dream, once judgement day has passed? You may not want to ask for it, or think that you should not be allowed to, but to know you is a priceless gift that we've been given - there are surely many among us in Heaven that would open their worlds to you, or who would be willing to support you and those you have befriended in your own.
[ the thing is - even now, watching this memory for the fifth, sixth time, he still feels no regrets. it's even hard to feel any sorrow, watching the bolt hit him, watching samantha sob over his body. only guilt, and then longing, a longing for the wheat fields and the rivers that the scene begins to show as it plays, a longing for a freedom he's never known, a freedom he will never know.
his hands remain folded in front of himself. quiet. obedient. and when zhongli speaks, he does listen, turning his gaze to look at him from the side, searching his face for a moment - though there's nothing but honesty in his words, and truth, he smiles a little, then looks back down. ]
... [ it is a priceless gift. he knows it is. but. ]
If I am to leave my home, then I am a coward, Zhongli. [ softly. ] If I run off to live out a fantasy, then I leave behind a nation on the brink of war. Freedom is a fantasy that I am not afforded.
What do you hope to gain, then, from returning home without aid? [ his tone isn't severe, but it is firm. ] Her grip on you would tighten to be all the more suffocating, and your chances to help this princess and an uprising would be quashed.
[ he has more to say, but he seems to be waiting for what taair's answer might bein, in regards to... something, anything. a plan, an idea, an opening he might take. ]
And if I remain behind, then any chance to help at all is just as destroyed.
[ he says with a frown - deep, but... it's hard to tell whether he has a plan for this or not. ]
The things that would have to be changed to prevent this... Lady Caris has been laying the foundations for this for - my entire life. Let alone in the past year.
Taair. I do not doubt that you would give your all for your Iria. For those that suffer beneath the yoke of this... Papal States that Caris leads. But it is precisely because I do not doubt that I say any of this, that I pressure you to consider what it is that you intend to do.
No, and I would not ask you to. Contracts are to be negotiated, made fair and balanced, and understood by all parties. Even as the God of Contracts, I hold myself to the same standard that I hold others to.
[ but - ]
You return to Caris with naught but yourself, no plan, no aid, you could very well be consigning yourself to being her prized songbird returned and held in a reinforced cage. A nation might be kept from war, but it could very well be brought to heel. [ and samantha, drinking herself to death to drown her sins and guilt as caris' hound, nevermind the leader or inanna. ]
The foundation of the contract I propose is this: if you do not have a plan of action in place, at the end of this path to judgement day, then I will gather those most willing and capable of helping you together, and we will be escorting you to offer your mercenary friend the numbers that he will need to place Princess Inanna on the throne.
Because I have not once in six thousand years abided by a tyrant. I will not begin now, when a newfound friend and his home face one.
[ it's... a sweet offer, but - well, taair's smart. the easiest thing to do would be to say yes, but he would not be much of a historian if he couldn't note contradictions. ]
And if that blocks you from solving your own problems? From returning safely to your own worlds? We do not even know if that would be possible.
If this is not something that can be done, then we will see what can be offered from Heaven itself. From this God that the angels believe so much in, but has failed to guarantee our safety on this journey for redemption.
You need not agree to it, now. But I only ask - not as the God of Contracts, but as Zhongli alone - that you consider it, and think on what your plan will be upon your return.
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zhongli is presented with a vision of the bird's final flight. ]
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heaven is cruel, in many ways, that go against what its believers were brought to understand of it in their scriptures and hymns. zhongli has come to expect it, at this point. that it will find a way to twist in the knife when you should anticipate it, but still find yourself swept up, knocked down, struck breathless.
his free hand goes up to his own chest, where the bolt found itself buried in taair's. there is no bloomd of blood or relief, for him, not beyond what the memory instills. but it is the simultaneous kindness and cruelty of it all that reminds him of so many.
how many close companions, how many soldiers who fought alongside him, how many humans and adepti alike over the millennia, have died with a smile on their face? who left their dreams, their treasures, their hopes, the future of the world, behind for someone else? he remembers each and every one of them that have been placed into his hands for safekeeping, as he will remember this one.
it's no surprise that it's a constant across worlds.
it's no surprise, either, that the precious gift of life can so often still be its own cage when put into the wrong hands. ]
... I still stand by it. [ but he is the god of contracts. of history, of commerce, the warrior god morax. it isn't his nation, but it is a historian, ensnared by the trappings of war - and he knows an imbalanced, unfair, unjust situation when he sees one. ] Taair, my friend... where has anyone said that your road to redemption is because of the duty that this woman has forced upon you? What contract has forbidden you from using this opportunity to soar from the golden aviary that she has fashioned for you?
Has a single angel said that others cannot help you reach your dream, once judgement day has passed? You may not want to ask for it, or think that you should not be allowed to, but to know you is a priceless gift that we've been given - there are surely many among us in Heaven that would open their worlds to you, or who would be willing to support you and those you have befriended in your own.
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his hands remain folded in front of himself. quiet. obedient. and when zhongli speaks, he does listen, turning his gaze to look at him from the side, searching his face for a moment - though there's nothing but honesty in his words, and truth, he smiles a little, then looks back down. ]
... [ it is a priceless gift. he knows it is. but. ]
If I am to leave my home, then I am a coward, Zhongli. [ softly. ] If I run off to live out a fantasy, then I leave behind a nation on the brink of war. Freedom is a fantasy that I am not afforded.
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[ he has more to say, but he seems to be waiting for what taair's answer might bein, in regards to... something, anything. a plan, an idea, an opening he might take. ]
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[ he says with a frown - deep, but... it's hard to tell whether he has a plan for this or not. ]
The things that would have to be changed to prevent this... Lady Caris has been laying the foundations for this for - my entire life. Let alone in the past year.
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Taair. I do not doubt that you would give your all for your Iria. For those that suffer beneath the yoke of this... Papal States that Caris leads. But it is precisely because I do not doubt that I say any of this, that I pressure you to consider what it is that you intend to do.
So I would propose a contract.
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[ a contract, for whatever it will be, but - he's listening, and gives a small nod. go on. ]
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[ but - ]
You return to Caris with naught but yourself, no plan, no aid, you could very well be consigning yourself to being her prized songbird returned and held in a reinforced cage. A nation might be kept from war, but it could very well be brought to heel. [ and samantha, drinking herself to death to drown her sins and guilt as caris' hound, nevermind the leader or inanna. ]
The foundation of the contract I propose is this: if you do not have a plan of action in place, at the end of this path to judgement day, then I will gather those most willing and capable of helping you together, and we will be escorting you to offer your mercenary friend the numbers that he will need to place Princess Inanna on the throne.
Because I have not once in six thousand years abided by a tyrant. I will not begin now, when a newfound friend and his home face one.
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And if that blocks you from solving your own problems? From returning safely to your own worlds? We do not even know if that would be possible.
[ it makes his stomach twist, guiltily. ]
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If this is not something that can be done, then we will see what can be offered from Heaven itself. From this God that the angels believe so much in, but has failed to guarantee our safety on this journey for redemption.
You need not agree to it, now. But I only ask - not as the God of Contracts, but as Zhongli alone - that you consider it, and think on what your plan will be upon your return.
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...well. It would be especially poor of me not to consider such a kind offer. [ so... ] I will.